Hot Docs Ends (and I'm still sick of popcorn)

I'm taking a break from all the reviews I've been writing - diligently, like some kind of blog hero - to write my impressions of the 2007 Hot Docs festival. I saw nine screenings this year, and this was my fifth year as a festival attendee. I appreciate all the hard work that goes into planning a festival of this magnitude (largest doc festival in North America), but in the interest of honest feedback I offer the following thoughts. Here's what I think could improve, and what should stay the same:

- Perhaps it's time to exclusively book big venues. I like the Bloor, and thank God the Royal has reopened, but please tell me what's up with the Al Green theatre. I thought it would be a really soulful, funky venue named after Love and Happiness Al Green. Instead, I think it was named after the guy who owns my apartment complex. (This has been proven wrong. This Al Green is actually a Toronto area sculptor and philanthropist). The venue is smaller and the screen is twenty feet away from the front seats. The worst part, however, is the seat construction. All the seats are connected on a bleacher like structure. Everytime someone goes to the bathroom their descent down the stairs shakes your row and creates a lot of noise. It's pretty distracting when you're trying (desperately) to stay interested in Village of Socks.

The Two "Al Green"s. Brothers from different mothers?

- It's great to see the Royal open again, but what's with these concession prices? Seven dollars for popcorn and soda? Whoa there. If I wanted to pay ridiculous prices for sugar, salt and corn I'd go to the multiplex and see Spiderman. Royal's seats are pretty wicked though. I love the slight springing action.

- People's choice ballots are printed on the back of your ticket! Great idea. Good for the environment and easy to use.

- Here's an ad you see before every single Hot Docs screening: Guy sits in empty theatre eating popcorn and watching movie. You hear the movie audio of a mosquito, a cow mooing, and then a woman screaming. Guy's head explodes into bad CGI goo. Cue the caption, "Vote for the movie that BLOWS YOUR MIND". Then (finally, thankfully) the ad is over. Now, first of all what kind of documentary is this guy watching with cows and women screaming? Secondly, if my head exploded it wouldn't look anything like that. Finally, isn't this the 27th year this never-funny ad has been forced upon us? If we promise to vote will you please stop making us watch this with every screening? By the end of the festival I was really tired of watching that guy's head explode. Really tired.

- Jewish Film Festival, where were you? I was looking forward to a pickle on a stick while I waited in line. That was the best marketing gimmick I've ever seen - and so delicious!


- I missed not having a guest director with a retrospective and evening discussion. Hot Docs is where I got to see Errol Morris explain why his monkeys-eating-oatmeal commercial was the best thing he's ever done. Last year Werner Herzog made me love him all over again when he introduced My Best Fiend as "my most tragic film and my most hilarious film". I know this year there was a documentary panel discussion, but that wasn't announced until after I had already picked films and settled on a schedule. It was such a treat to see a master film maker's lesser known (and hardly ever screened) work. I hope this was a temporary substitution and next year we'll see a return to retrospectives. Hell, bring back Herzog and I'd be happy.

Werner Herzog pals around with Klaus Kinski in My Best Fiend

Finally, a big thank you to the always cheerful volunteers who helped me find seats and washrooms. Thank you to the programmers for shifting through thousands of entries to come up with their impressive selection, and a huge thank you to Hot Docs powers-that-be for keeping ticket prices affordable. I recommend this festival to anyone that will listen, but obviously it's doing well even without my awesome power over public opinion. I look forward to another season of Doc Soup starting in the fall, and Hot Docs 2008!