The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters Review

All right, so I have two, well, actually three documentaries that I've seen recently that I should review. I saw the first almost two months ago, and I've had very good intentions to finish the review ever since. But it's Christmas time and I'm giddy with Yuletide glee, so I'm going to skip those other docs and review the best one first. The awesome one. The one that makes me think reindeer can fly and elves can be dentists. I'm reviewing King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters.

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The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
(USA, Directed by Seth Gordon)


King of Kong is the kind of documentary that most people will enjoy, a select few will find pointless, and some will absolutely love with the devotion of a plumber out to save his princess from a rampaging, barrel throwing ape. It centres around two men and the classic 1981 arcade game, Donkey Kong. One of the men is reigning Donkey Kong champ, entrepreneur, and feathered hair aficionado Billy Mitchell. The other is all around nice guy, family man and dedicated competitor Steve Wiebe whose arcade skillz threaten to usurp the DK crown. Watching from the sidelines at arcade tournaments across America are a host of nerdy, OCD riddled video game champs. Billy is their king, but Steve is winning over the crowd. One has novelty neckties while the other teaches high school science. They are both men who place a inordinate amount of self esteem into being the one, true, Donkey Kong champion.

So begins, and ends, the surface plot of King of Kong. It's about the men who compete to master a video game most kids today can only reference in association with MarioKart. It's about many grown men (and at least one plucky woman) who meet in huddled, underground and (one can only guess), slightly stinky arcades to beat their chests and prove who has the biggest joystick. In short, a few people may find the documentary trite, and the subjects pathetic. Those people need to lighten up and embrace the geek within. There is so much humour, humility, and honest emotion in this film it is almost impossible not to be drawn into the battle.

Things Billy Mitchell Enjoys: hot sauce, dark and lustrous hair, kicking your ass at any video game from the 80s
Billy is a classic alpha nerd. He won moderate fame, fortune, and a wife with very large breasts by spending thousands of hours making Pac Man eat dots. He used his early reputation as the supreme arcade champ to build a hot sauce and restaurant business. His ego is huge, ridiculous, and completely intact until Steve sends in a tape of him beating the world DK high score on a console he keeps in his garage. Following this believed impossible act, Billy descends into refusal, avoidance, and (possibly) cheating to preserve his reputation. Steve, on the other hand, is battling his own demons of unfulfilled potential, latent obsessive tendencies and a family who loves him but wishes he would just come out of the garage more often. It's easy to say Billy is the villain and Steve is the hero, but there is only one hero in Donkey Kong; Mario. And, to a lesser extent, the Princess. Where was I going with this? I forget.

My point is that King of Kong has all the elements of a classic story of epic struggle, and so makes for a fascinating film even if you've never played a video game in your life. There is the complex psyches of the warriors, the mix of awe, jealousy and resentment from the lesser competitors, the politics of the referee who must decide the victor, and the heartbreak of disappointment when dreams fall short. I cried with Steve when he was denied his initial high score, and I know I'm not the only person in that theatre who shed tears. I laughed many, many, many times and I am definitely not alone in that camp either. King of Kong, so help me, will make you actually care about video games and the people who play them.

You have to admit, the kid's got game. Referee Walter Day checks out Steve's progress with the barrels and the fireballs and the angry, angry monkey.
Director Seth Gordon is unobtrusive but complete in his footage. There is a particularly nice segment detailing Steve's compulsions from drumming, to football, to making detailed diagrams of DK stages. It is one of the most illustrative representations of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder I've ever seen. And the musical score is ironic, hilarious, and dead on cue. When you hear Leonard Cohen start to growl about how everybody knows the good guys lost, you will be amazed by how well it fits this film. The plot is on the sprawling side, and the editing suffers with a few loose threads of promising gamers who never get to finish their story. There is also the problem of the coda to the film being printed words instead of actual footage an invested audience would love to see. Still, even with these problems I'm giving The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters 5 out of 5. It should really be a 4.5, but I'm a complete nerd so I'm giving it some extra love.

Is this the greatest magazine cover ever?

My answer is yes.



There I was at the 7-11 with my Slurpee (or as it is now delightfully labeled, my Squishee), when Anson plopped this magazine down in front of me. I looked at it for a second before understanding the glorious image before my eyes.

Martha. Orange. Wii Cake. Martha icing a Wii Cake. Oh my God.

I didn't even know that this was the very thing I wanted, no, needed to see. It's like some part of my brain had this image already composed, and it had been plucked out and printed just to make me happy. I bought the magazine on the merits of this cover alone. I didn't really need to know how to bake a Wii cake, or how to email like a pro (do I email like a noob?), I just needed to own this image. And frame it. And love it.

Thank you Wired. What will you delight me with next issue? Nathan Fillion with a collection of Pez dispensers? Custom Miis based on Star Trek TNG characters? The possibilities are endless.

Nintendo and Kidman - Together at Last!

I'm interested in gaming culture, and Nintendo in particular. Ever since the first NES (which I had after the Atari 2600 - yes I'm that old), Nintendo has been the only game system I've really played. Recently, the marketing for the Wii has proven very effective in attracting non-gamers by focusing on intuitive gameplay the whole family can enjoy together. Now Nintendo is focusing their brand of non-offensive fun on the upscale, wealthy and plastic looking housewives market. Between pilates class and picking your kid up from Mandarin lessons, why not pencil in some time to exercise your brain? Enter Nicole Kidman with her glowing porcelain skin and immaculate white home, to demonstrate the DS and the "Brain Training" series of games:



Doesn't that look like fun? She may resemble a Stepford wife (and act like one complete with head-smacking cutesy gestures) but Nicole sure does classy up the DS. Now it's an intellectual tool and not just that thing you give to the kids on long car trips to make them shut up. This new, polished, and oh-so-dignified gamer is much more attractive than the grubby ten year olds and single dudes game companies used to court. Bravo, Nintendo, for honing in on the female market as well. Us girl gamers have been playing since the beginning, but few companies have recognised the huge profit potential in piquing our interest.

So does this mean I'll be buying a DS? Probably not. I don't feel wealthy or European enough to relate to the Nicole Kidman / Nintendo fantasy. Besides, Nintendo had me from Mario. I might try the equivalent game on the Wii, but for handheld fun I’ll stick to my Limited Edition Retro Designed Gameboy Advance SP. Yeah, you read that right. It looks like an original NES controller and plays classics like Excitebike and Pinball. I keep it in a Spongebob Squarepants protective case. Jealous yet? Don’t worry. It’s never too late to join the cool kids on the Nintendo side of the street.